When a child begins to verbalize, generally around the age of two, you should use that communication as the intended tool. Keep in mind, your daughter is at a stage where she is feeling out her independence, and so she may question and disagree with you. That is a mark of intelligence, though it does not mean that you should give in to her cleverness; you are the parent, and to do this well, you must be consistent and teach her what she needs to know at the appropriate times in her life.
Two years of age is an appropriate time to end the use of a pacifier, but at this age you should talk to her about getting rid of it. She is too old to have the paci just 'disappear' because she is also, in this stage, learning to trust. Honor that trust by being truthful.
To pack up the paci and give it away might suggest to her that you think someone else is more deserving. Keep in mind that this is a cherished item, much like a favorite blanket.
My suggestion would be this-
For the first two days, when you give the paci to your daughter, remark that she will soon be old enough that she won't need it anymore! Repeat this throughout the day. This should be said with excitement, not distain. Children want to get 'big'! They look forward to this in many ways, so make this one of them!
On the third day, early, before she becomes tired or in need of the pacifier, exclaim, "This is the day. You are finally old enough to get rid of the paci!"
Let her see how proud of her you are.
Then together, embark on a paci hunt!
Take a trash bag and look for the pacifiers which have been hidden ahead of time. Make a game of throwing them out, and as you enjoy this fun with your daughter, help her to understand that this is the end of the paci. When they have all been collected, off to the garbage they go! Celebrate with a balloon, a small toy, or by calling Daddy at work!
If she asks for her pacifier later, just remind her that they were thrown out after the hunt. Don't make a big deal of it. She was part of it. Let her feel some responsibility. She is growing up appropriately!
Some tips:
1) Make certain that all pacifiers are collected! This will not work if one is found tomorrow under the couch or in the car.
2) You must be consistent here in order to build trust. Do not give in to tears later that night, or all your work will be in vain.
3) Be sure all caregivers are on board. You don’t want Grandma to inadvertently undo what you have done.
4) You are correct, your two-year old should be off the paci, so be strong. It doesn't make it easier as she gets older.
Good parenting works best with loving consistency.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Do you have any advice on taking the paci away? I am thinking tonight when Elizabeth is sleeping the Pacifier Fairy is going to take it and I’ll decorate her room with balloons and a present. What do you think? I don’t think she’ll put it in a box and give it away like people recommend.-- Diana -- Chicago
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Author Biography
Erin Rose Donnegan, with twenty-six years experience in her childcare business, continues to raise strong children and coach parents. She also guides teens through life transitions and volunteers as a hospice caregiver, providing comfort during the last moments of life. Erin has six beautiful grandchildren and is currently working on her next book about raising responsible children. She lives in Denver, Colorado.
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