How do I stop feeling overwhelmed with the need to protect my children from the world? Some days I find myself consumed with worry about how my kids will "turn out", desperate to keep them surrounded by people who will embrace and encourage their sweet little personalities and insatiable curiosity. How do I find a balance between teaching my kids how to be problem solvers in the "real" world while preserving their innocence and sensitive spirits? Lisa-West Chicago

As a parent you want to protect your children from pain and suffering. This is an instinct that will last even after your children are grown. It’s important to understand that this caregiver/protector role is normal, but equally important to recognize the difference between guiding a child and offering tools to cope, and rescuing them by being overly protective in an attempt to lessen their emotional pain.
The greatest way to preserve innocence and a sensitive spirit is not so much by censoring your child’s world, but by supporting and encouraging communication when he comes up against adversity.
These early years in your child’s life allow him to experience the world in a controlled setting. You, as his parent and primary caregiver, have the privilege to steer values which will be consistent with what you hold important within your family dynamic. As your child gets older it won’t be possible to shelter him from the outside world, and you shouldn’t feel compelled to do so.
Work now while your child is young to help him make good choices, praising freely when he does. If he comes up against something that is different from what he knows to be right, for instance a bully on the playground, give him ways to cope with his feelings. Instead of rescuing your child from the situation, offer options on how to deal with the problem. Reinforce your values, but also help him to make sense of the opposing view. This allows your child see possible reasons for the bully’s behavior. Talk about how the other child might be having a hard day, or how maybe someone in his world bullies him a lot instead of giving hugs. This type of conversation takes the focus off of your child, lessens his defensiveness, and allows him to feel empathetic rather than cynical. His own sensitivity is protected because he doesn’t take the conflict personally. He begins to reach out rather than blame. He moves forward lovingly instead of joining the opposition in anger.
The world is filled with many difficulties. Ignoring the ugliness, or hiding from it, only allows it to go on. We become effective in preserving the innocence and sensitivity by understanding the conflict, and in our willingness to communicate, we demonstrate a better way.